Saturday, November 19, 2011

Of the November Rain!!!!

A fine Saturday evening in November and I was lazying around in my bed. There are times after a good day's sleep when you don't feel like getting out of bed, and then you do unusual things. I was trying to match the pace of the moving fan above with my eyes. Suddenly I hear a sound..... "tup". It startled me. and then again.. "tup...tup". The intensity of the voice was low....but gradually the frequency was getting higher. It was coming from the window. I suddenly woke myself up and leaned towards the window, drew the curtains and was rain drops falling over my AC that made the sound. Rain in November.... I don't know why...but it brought a little smile over my face. I could see through the glass window tiny droplets of water rolling down on the other side, I could see the cool breeze of air trying to move the trees along with it......and........I wanted to feel it.

I freed my bed from my weight and went to the door of the room that led to the balcony, went outside and saw a scene that was bound to be freeze framed. White smoke everywhere in the air. Milky white sky......there was still some light in the sky...till where my sight could reach. Crackling sound of tiny raindrops falling over the leaves of the trees. The sound of "husshhh" created by the chilly wind moving through the spaces between the leaves of the trees. I moved my hand out to feel the rain droplets....they were few now.....and frequency was less too but it was soothing. I then leaned a little forward with eyes closed and face upwards to have a few drops fell on my face. With water on my face and cold wind running over it...I could feel the nippiness all through my body.

I could never ever leave a scenario of such sort until either it vanishes away...or I wake up from my dream. So I stood there and kept relishing the cold November rain. I then hear a giggling sound amongst the transitory sound of wind. I looked out for the origin. couldn't locate. and then again I hear it. I could now locate a humanly figure right through the tree at the park in front of my house. I moved a little and now I could see her. yes....a girl smiling contentedly. sitting on the bench of the park, looking up in the sky..she held her hands outwards. maybe she too was enjoying the rain...and the cold waves. Although her image was still obscure to me but it seemed she was in her late twenties. wearing a long skirt till her feet and a full sleeved top there was not much portion of her body left where she would be feeling the rain droplets. the voice of her grin was so endearing that I could not restrain myself from struggling to have just a look of hers. she stood up suddenly and started moving towards the center of the park. Her hands still in an outward position, reaching out to collect the rain drops. until this point, all I could see was her back. She kept if the rain drops were playing with her. She then took a complete round about where she was standing and that was the first time....I saw her face. Man.....that was one in a million face.....and one in a billion smile.....the light from the lamp post in the park completely reflected from her face...such was the lucidity of her face. One could easily live a lifetime looking at that smiling face. she was playing there with the rain like a kid.

Ankita betaa......come now...let's's'll get ill.....I heard a voice of a women standing at the entrance of the park. her mother maybe..

ohh c'mon Maa....let me be here.....these trees...this rain.....cold wind.....all this feels so beautiful....kuch nahi hoga mujhe...... for the first time I heard her sugary voice.

Nahi's enough....thand lag jaaegi.....she insisted.

Ghosh no.....she started walking towards the gate of the park. But I need to see her more. I quickly went inside the room and slipped inside my floaters. went to the main door and pull opened it to go down.

Arrey beta....where are you going? ...enquired mom.


Arrey bata ke to jaa....

aake bataunga....took 3-4 steps down

kuch khaake to jaa

What?? I don't have the time even to tell you where I am going and kuch khaa ke jaau?? . these moms..... anyways I didn't replied to this one and rapidly went down to have a glimpse of the girl before her overtly cautious "Sardi lag jaaegi" Mom could take her home.

I reached on the street and rushed towards the park. she wasn't there anymore. I looked here and there...trying to find her.

arrey Sahib.....what are you looking for? you lost something? take this umbrella , you'll get wet...... came a guard of the block running towards me with an umbrella in his hand. (#C''s not raining that much)

arrey......ehhhhh....where did she go? there was a girl here abhi..... I asked him

Girl?? yaha to koi nahi tha Sahib....

Arrey bhaiyya thi na abhi ek ladki yaha park me......her mom called her......ehhhh.....kya naam liya tha.......haan....Ankita...

ohhh.....Ankita memsahib.....haan...her mom took her back home....she lives two blocks away.

I started moving towards the other block.

poor girl she is sahib.....she can't see......she is blind.

My steps froze. I looked back at the guard. Amidst the voice of the rain.....all I could hear......was my heart beat.

SO Never Mind the Darkness
We Still Can Find a Way
Coz Nothing Lasts Forever
Even Cold November Rain.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Of Appraisals & More...!!!!

And here comes finally the part of being in an office that soothes you to the core.....the appraisal.....i mean if you rule out the girls, the coffee machine and the free stationery ..... and in fact if you're not the kinda guy who gets happy only by seeing a girl in a short tight top(on Friday's) then you rule out the first option as well. # I'm not that kinda....I'm a compromising guy.....I find happiness in small things...."not physically small things"...but metaphorically small things you know :P.

anyways, apart from the short term happiness that office girls and coffee machine and measly monthly salary gives you, there is another thing that you wait for the whole year-----> Annual Appraisal.

Though considering my performance during the last year I should have been banned in IT industry but again considering the photocopy skills that I had and high requirement of such skills in IT industry, I was held in high esteem there.On top of that where would they find such a responsible employee who keeps checking whether the coffee machine is working fine or not every 30 mins and report to admin the problems if any.

So, coming to the topic, an year was past and I got a mail from the HR dept with the subject "Appraisal Time" that brought a 2 to 11 smile over my face and the attached Rating sheets brought them back to 5 to 7.

Now as you all know I'm a friendly kinda guy (# at mean times) so I had a very good repo with my manager and he used to give me updates regarding my performance regularly on personal basis.
and believe you me guys I thought it was better if I could find another manager to rate me considering those updates. :P

So, I sent a meeting request to my manager from 3:00 to 4:00 in hanging garden with the subject line "Personal Talk" .....god how could I think of such nonsensical subject line.
anyways I got a reply in another 2 mins with the status "Declined". I opened it. It said "Busy in another meeting. Propose new time.".
After a long stroll of proposals and replies we settled at 6:00-6:15. what the hell would I explain in 15 mins? "saala ho liya discussion"

#6:00 P.M-- I enter the room

May I come in sir.

yes Kunal, what's up?

Sir, all the servers are up. #tried to joke..didn't worked.

what do you wanted to discuss? and for god's sake think of a meaningful subject line from next time.

sir, I want you to move me to another project.

Why? Is the coffee machine not working on our floor?

No sir,

Report to admin then.

I mean the coffee machine is working fine but that's not the reason.

Then is the stationery not coming in properly?

I am not hungry for free stationery sir. # it was a white lie.

You want new chair? with more reclining angle?


Then what? we can get you a new 21" TFT screen as compared to your 19" monitor.

Make it 27" and it's a deal. # Was Not Possible.he himself has a 24" TFT.

# I tell you these managers are trained with a flowchart in their head, what action to take in which condition.
anyways....the meeting turned out to be a waste and I came out of the room empty handed, head hanging.

After a few days I sat to fill up my Rating form and very confidently ...uhh...rather over confidently gave myself a perfect 5 in every point I could see in that form.

#after a few days

"Kunal, Wake up"......."Kunal, Wake up" .......I woke up and saw my manger saying those words.
I picked my head from the table and replied “have you noticed the sound coming from this table when you put your ear on it?”

#Life saved.

#After Some more days

While I was trying hard not to sleep during office hours ........ by indulging myself into chatting on outlook with the dumb girl across the cubicle, I get a meeting request from the manager with subject line "Appraisal Rating discussion Meeting". Without wasting a minute I hit the accept button. # God, he must have known by now how desperate I was.

~ I enter in.

Hey Kunal, Come in. So Appraisal Time haan?

hehe....yes sir. # my all new stupid face.

Hmmm.....I see you completing 9 hours from last 3 days.

No sir....actually.....uhhhhh... # Self Rating minus 1

Anyways....hows everything going in Project?

Everything is fine sir.

Is Facebook Working?

yes sir....I mean no sir.......sir....means....firewall...uhhh...proxy...# Leave it...Self Rating minus 1.5

OK Leave it. Lets have a look at your form.
You have rated yourself a 5 in Pro activeness.

Yes sir, I've always been Active in any kinda work given to me.

Hmmm.....Why were you sleeping that day? # where did that came in from in b/w?

That day?? ohh...sir....weakness....Probably I should Stop donating blood Every Week.

You should Probably keep a note of every excuse you make and keep revising it on a regular basis.......otherwise you would land up in a problem soon. # Self Rating minus 2

sir...........# dead silence.

Extra Curricular activities you have given 5. # a look demanding an explanation.

Sir, as you know I have participated in every event that has been organized in our building like quizzes, debates, Dramatics, won in one also. which was that one?.# god, kill me...I failed miserably in each one of those.'t....

Ohh You didn't? Never mind.
I told you to be Santa Claus on Christmas, you denied.# please kill me god please. # Self rating minus 2.5

Sir I was on leave on that day.# case closed # Self rating + 0.5 .. ohh yeah

Okay... let me see the other sheet. you give yourself again a handsome 5 in Behaviour. ohh that reminds me, there was a complaint against you.You argued with Manju. she is your senior, how could you do that?

Sir, she pulls my leg in front of everyone.


She says I am Tall, Dark and handsome in front of everyone.

Is that how she pulls your leg?

In Continuation to above she says "I am tall..........and I might look handsome when it's Dark" # Self Esteem = 22 yrs of hard work + Manju's dialogue + telling it myself= 0

hahahaha......good one good one. # go give a high five to manju then.huh!
but you should not have argued, she is your senior. # senior my foot.# Self rating - 2.5 again.

yes sir.

# P.S- though from the name it might sound Manju is a B grade movie actress but frankly speaking she is so hot that she could give adrenalin rush to a 80 year old and only I knew I was putting my feet on Axe while arguing with her. # Chances of talking to her ever again = -3.14*10^56 # weird statistics

Kunal, I see a lot of gap still there. you I gave this module to Abhimanyu and he has promised he would complete it by next week. I gave a module to you and leave me, in fact I think you also have forgot about that.

Sir, I am working on that module and as far as completing it by next week is concerned .......I don't want to write cheques I might not be able to cash. # dialogue in the post so far + head held high + (Self rating + 1).

but still, you are not there. # and all the ratings were deducted to a bare minimum.
# Now that's why I tell you to pay attention while reading. you'll have to go up now to calculate how much I got.

# I so strongly wanted to reject it, and gathered all the courage to say so.

With due respect sir, I would like to say that......

With no due respect kunal, That is all that I could give you. thanks, you can go.

And again a hanging head came out of the room.

#a team mate jumped over me "kitni mili kitni mili?"

"ye le......chaat le isse" throwed the sheet onto his desk.

They say life rewinds and plays in front of you on your deathbed. I'm sure my record would stop at this point and I'll slap myself 10 times before moving ahead.